| Could you carry him out of here, please? And, you know, also maybe not have sex with his wife. |
| — Leslie Knope |
"Tom's Divorce" is the eleventh episode of season 2 of the NBC television series Parks and Recreation. It originally aired on December 3, 2009 to 4.83 million viewers.
In the episode, Tom gets a divorce and Leslie tries to cheer him up, unaware it was a green card marriage. Meanwhile, Andy challenges Mark to a game of pool with the hopes of winning back Ann's affections.
The episode was written by Harris Wittels and was directed by Troy Miller. Although officially entitled "Tom's Divorce", it has also been referred to in some media reports as The Fourth Floor. It is reference to the pre-credits sequence in which Leslie visits the horrifying and grotesque fourth floor of the Pawnee Hall, a scene that was praised by television reviews.
Storyline
Ron Swanson sends Leslie Knope to run an errand at the DMV in Pawnee Hall's fourth floor, a dark and unsettling place that includes probation offices and divorce filings. A reluctant and frightened Leslie navigates past reprobates and blood stains on the floor and spots Tom Haverford leaving the divorce office with his wife Wendy Haverford. Unaware that their relationship was a "green card marriage" to prevent Wendy from being deported back to Canada, Leslie later tries to comfort Tom, who insists he is fine. Nevertheless, Leslie persists in her efforts to cheer him up, in part by ordering a singing horse telegram to cheer him up. Ron, who knows about Tom's fake marriage, suggests Tom act sad so Leslie can feel like she cheered him up. When Leslie sets up a social event to cheer him up, Tom suggests a strip club, but Leslie follows Jerry Gergich's suggestion they go to the dinosaur-themed restaurant, Jurassic Fork.
The parks employees eat several dinosaur-themed entrees, like "Tyranna-Ceasar Salads" and "Surf and Turfasaurus". Tom seems so cheery that Leslie begins to suspect he is faking being sad. Ron pulls Tom aside and asks whether he could ask Wendy on a date once the divorce is finalized. Tom consents, but is visibly disappointed. Determined to cheer him up, Leslie agrees to compromise her morals and take Tom to his favorite strip club, the Glitter Factory. Leslie is horrified by the club and tries to encourage the strippers to change their lives. Ron is also uninterested in the strippers, but happily consumes the free breakfast buffet.
Tom remains depressed even after Leslie hires a stripper to give him a lap dance and "grind the sorrow out of him". A drunken Tom tells Leslie that Ron plans to ask out Wendy, prompting an angry reaction from her. When Tom passes out at the bar, they take him to Wendy's house, and Leslie is shocked to find she is on a date with another man. She storms out after expressing her disgust with Wendy and Ron. The next morning at work, Tom confesses to Leslie that it was a "green card marriage", and that he only recently realized he really likes Wendy.
Meanwhile, Andy continues his efforts to break up his ex-girlfriend Ann Perkins and her new boyfriend Mark Brendanawicz. Andy challenges Mark to a game of pool with the hopes of hustling him, but Mark turns out to be an excellent player and wins multiple games. Mark and Andy make one final wager: if Andy wins, he gets Ann, but if Mark wins he has to leave them alone. Mark dominates the game but loses when he scratches on the 8 ball. Initially delighted, Andy becomes confused when Ann leaves with Mark anyway. The next day, he tells Mark and Ann he will no longer be bothering them, and says a final goodbye to Ann.
Quotes
Jerry: There is a great dinosaur-themed restaurant in Patterson. It is called Jurassic Fork. I have gone there three times a week for the last 15 years.
Waiter: How do you want that cooked?
Leslie: Medium roar.
Waiter: Medium rare?
Leslie: No. Medium roar.
Waiter: For legal reasons we're not allowed to make puns about the temperature of the meats anymore.
Leslie: I did a little research, and divorce is the number two most stressful event in a person's life. Of course marriage is number seven. So, watch out everyone. It's all bad.
Andy: Oh, uh, also, Mark. Again, we don't have those extra small condoms you ordered. I called the factory, it's going to take a special order. Not just because of the size, but because of the weird shape as well. Something they've never dealt with before.
Jerry: I really wish I could have your body.
Tom: What?
April: Eww, like tied up naked in your basement?
Jerry: No, no I mean you're in good shape and you can eat whatever you want.
Leslie: That was weird, Jerry.