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For the last time, and I won't say this again, there will be no human or feline ashes in either one of the time capsules.
Leslie Knope

"Time Capsule" is the third episode in the third season of the NBC television series Parks and Recreation. It originally aired on February 3, 2011 to 4.95 million viewers.

Synopsis[]

Leslie plans to bury a time capsule that summarises life in Pawnee. Meanwhile, Andy asks Chris for help winning April back.

Storyline[]

Leslie is organizing the making of a time capsule to be opened 50 years in the future Pawnee. A citizen named Kelly Larson comes to City Hall and makes a passionate plea for the Twilight books to be included. When Leslie refuses because the books have no connection to Pawnee, Kelly handcuffs himself to a radiator pipe in her office until she reconsiders. Leslie calls security to get Kelly out of her office because he is trespassing, but when the security guard prepares to cut Kelly's handcuffs, he freaks out so Leslie lets him stay, assuming he'll leave when he gets hungry. Kelly, however, came prepared with food, water and a pillow. During his stay, Kelly notices Tom appears sad and correctly deduces Tom is having romantic issues; Lucy has dumped him and he doesn't know why. Kelly encourages Tom to read Twilight, to which he initially scoffs, but after reading them, finds he enjoys the books.

Meanwhile, Andy is still pining for April, who remains angry at Andy and is still dating Eduardo. Andy tells Chris the story of what happened between him and April, making Ann worried, because Andy always screws things up. Chris offers to help Andy and tells Andy to focus on the things about him that made April like him; all Andy can come up with is he's "nice" and he's "in a band".

Leslie is frustrated by Kelly's continued presence at the department, as well as Shauna Mulwae-Tweep's news report focusing on Kelly instead of the time capsule. After Leslie notices the name "Liz Waverly" in one of Kelly's Twilight books, Kelly admits the book belongs to his 12-year-old daughter. He is divorced from her mother, and wants to put Twilight into the time capsule to impress her. Leslie now wants to include it, but Ben retorts the idea because it could start a bad precedent whereby anyone who wants something from Leslie could just handcuff themselves to a pipe. Leslie decides to hold a public meeting so all citizens can make suggestions for capsule items. The meeting descends into chaos when the participants argue over what to include and make absurd suggestions, like human ashes and dead cats. Conservative activist Marcia Langman argues Twilight should not be included because it is too anti-Christian, while a civil liberties organization member says that the book isn't suitable because it is pro-Christian. Leslie tries to compromise by making multiple time capsules.

Andy starts being nice to Eduardo, and they bond over an interest in the same kind of music, with Andy giving Eduardo Mouse Rat CDs. April becomes annoyed when they start hanging out together. Meanwhile, Lucy shows up at the Parks Department at Tom's request to explain why she broke up with him. She tells him she still likes him, but she doesn't like the way he's hung up on Ron dating Wendy. She tells him to give her a call if he works through this issue.

Leslie complains about the meeting and jokingly asks Ben if she can blame him. He tells her he's impressed by the citizens, calling them "weirdos who care". This gives her an idea: the only item to be placed in the time capsule is a videotape of the public forum, which represents Pawnee because it shows "a lot of people with a lot of opinions arguing passionately for what they believed in". Later, Leslie sets up an evening viewing of the Twilight movie in the park. April tells Andy that Eduardo went back to Venezuela; when Andy expresses disappointment, since he was starting to like Eduardo, April replies that's why she started to hate Eduardo. Andy tells Chris that "nice" and "being in a band" worked. Kelly, who is at the movie with his daughter, thanks Leslie for setting up the viewing.

Cast[]

Quotes[]

Leslie: Okay, Jerry. What have you chosen to put in the time capsule?
Jerry: [holds up two books] These are my mother's diaries.
Leslie: [touched] Wow.
Jerry: Yeah, she lived in Pawnee all of her life and recorded everything she ever did. And so, it's kind of like a living document about the town.
Tom: Hmm, a disappointingly good idea from Jerry.
Leslie: Better than good, Jerry. Perfect.

April: [reads aloud one of the diary entries] January 18, 1964. Gerald starred in his school production of Peter Pan. He was a beautiful Tinker Bell. [Tom and Donna burst out laughing]
Jerry: It was an all-boys school!

Tom: For my item, I chose a picture of my ex-girlfriend Lucy, with a mustache drawn on her face and stink lines coming off her. 'Cuz she stinks! [explaining later to the crew] She broke up with me. Didn't really tell me why. Luckily when you're the guy you can just tell people she's crazy. "Hey, Tom, I heard you and Lucy broke up." "Yeah, man. Turns out, she's crazy." That's what they always do on Entourage.

Ron: I am submitting this menu from a Pawnee institution - JJ's Diner, Home of the World's Best Breakfast Dish, "The Four Horsemeals of the Egg-Porkalypse". Wendy loves it, too. [Tom glares at him with jealousy]

Leslie: [reading aloud Pawnee's various former slogans] "Pawnee, the Paris of America". "Pawnee, the Akron of southwest Indiana". "Pawnee, Welcome, German soldiers". After the Nazis took France, our mayor kind of panicked. "Pawnee, the factory fire capital of America". "Pawnee, Welcome, Vietnamese soldiers". "Pawnee, engage with Zorp". For a brief time in the '70s, our town was taken over by a cult. "Pawnee, Zorp is dead. Long live Zorp". "Pawnee, it's safe to be here now". "Pawnee, birthplace of Julia Roberts". That was a lie, she sued and so we had to change it. "Pawnee, Home of the World Famous Julia Roberts lawsuit". "Pawnee, Welcome, Taliban soldiers". And finally, our current slogan: "Pawnee, First in Friendship, Fourth in Obesity".

Leslie: [after Kelly handcuffed himself in Leslie's office] He brought handcuffs with him. This whole thing was planned.
April: I think it's kinda cool.
Leslie: It's not cool. It's trespassing, and that is breaking the rules. Cool people make the rules. They don't break the rules. And if those kids want you to break the rules, then they're not really your friends.
April: Whoa, who are you even talking about?
Leslie: I don't know. I'm sorry - I'm just annoyed.

Leslie: While we're on the subject, you're friend Orin - with the long black nails and the cloak - he concerns me.
April: He's a genius. [gives a knowing look at the camera]

Ron: [pulls out a hacksaw from his desk] I'll take care of this trespasser. Just give me 30 seconds.

Donna: Oh, I love any book about vampires, werewolves, monsters, zombies, sorcerers, beasties, or time-traveling romances. And if I had an hour alone with Robert Pattinson, he would forget all about Skinnylegs McGee; I'll tell you that much.

Kelly Larson: Hey, Leslie! I'm making some sleepy-time tea! You want any?

Ann: I just started dating Chris, and I don't know how, but Andy is going to screw it up. Andy screws everything up. When we were dating, I bought him a fish, and I don't want to get into it, but somehow that fish ended up dead in a cowboy boot.

Tom: Am I Team Edward? Yes. Do I share his concerns about turning Bella, though? Absolutely not.

Leslie: I think we should put Twilight in the time capsule.
Ron: Leslie, no. We don't negotiate with weirdos.

Leslie: Please remember, this is a government project. So, we need to refrain from corporate promotion and religious items. Who'd like to start?
Man: I think we should put in the Bible.
Leslie: Great.

Woman: Why should the Bill of Rights be in the official Capsule, but this painting of my dog is in Time Capsule 7?

Leslie: So, enjoy watching it. Assuming you still have electricity. And sorry about the weird blank gap in the middle. A man named Jerry Gergich screwed up the recording somehow. He had one job to do.

Trivia[]

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