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Leslie Knope

"The Trial of Leslie Knope" is the ninth episode in the fourth season of the NBC television series Parks and Recreation. It originally premiered on December 1, 2011 to 3.69 million viewers.

Synopsis[]

Chris finds out that Ben and Leslie are in a relationship, and Leslie and Ben have to defend themselves as Chris accuses them of unethical behaviour. Meanwhile, Ron is intimidated by April's stories about the Internet's "Big Brother" world.

Storyline[]

Leslie and Ben reveal their romantic relationship to Chris. After getting over his initial shock, he reluctantly launches a full investigation and prepares an ethics trial for the two, with Leslie's trial being scheduled first for the next day. Leslie fears the worst could happen and Ben reassures her that she'll likely get a suspension at most, but to Leslie, even that is a terrible thing. As the trial begins, Chris, who hates having to prosecute Leslie and Ben, fights his depression and sadness by taking an obscenely large amount of herbal medicine and supplements.

Chris asks Leslie when her relationship with Ben began, if she ever received special professional treatment, and if she ever broke a law to cover up the relationship. She answers that she and Ben began their relationship after their road trip to Indianapolis and admits to breaking the "no-dating" rule, but insists she never received special treatment or did anything unethical. Chris, however, believes that Leslie is lying and even may be guilty of bribery, and has fourteen witnesses to call up. Leslie is angered and offended by these accusations, but Chris emphasizes that it is his responsibility as City Manager to fully investigate any possible instances of corruption in the government. Leslie becomes determined to fight back against his charges and successfully proves over the course of the trial that she never received special treatment from Ben and that their relationship did not begin earlier than when she stated. However, Chris' last witness is George Williams, the maintenance worker that witnessed Leslie and Ben kissing while they were setting up Li'l Sebastian's memorial service. Since they gave him a gift certificate in exchange for his silence, Leslie and Ben technically bribed him.

Realizing her job is at stake, Leslie and the Parks Department scramble to find a loophole in the law, but Ron Swanson tells Leslie to just admit guilt. Everyone in the Parks Department assures Leslie that they will still respect her. Leslie admits she bribed the maintenance worker to the committee, but her punishment is merely a two week suspension with pay. As things wrap up, Leslie asks Chris why she hasn't been fired. Chris reveals that Ben called a private meeting, took full responsibility for the bribe, and resigned as Assistant City Manager, and then apologizes to Leslie, making it clear he was just doing his job. He then suggests she meet with the court stenographer, Ethel Beavers, to read the transcript of the meeting to her.

Leslie listens to Ethel read the transcript of Ben's meeting with the panel. Chris had asked Ben if the scandal and losing his job were worth it, and Ben replied that he has no regrets because he loves Leslie. Leslie has Ethel reopen the transcript and declares her love for Ben on the record. She brings Ethel to her house later that night to read the official testimony to Ben.

Cast[]

Quotes[]

Ron: APRIL! [April walks into his office] Listen, I was trying to buy this handcrafted Mahogany wood model of a B-25 Mitchell Panchito aircraft-
April: Aww, for me?
Ron: Don't sass me. [April looks at the camera, taken aback]

Ron: I went to this website and this ad popped up that said "Hey, Ron Swanson: Check Out This Great Offer!!"
April: What's your question?
Ron: [irked] My question is, "What the hell??"

April: There are these things called "cookies" [Ron gives a weird look] where, like, if you go to a site and buy something, it'll remember you and create ads for other stuff you might wanna buy.
Ron: So it learns information about me? Seems like an invasion of privacy.
April: Dude, if you think that's bad, go to Google Earth and type in your address. [Ron does so] Boom. 
[The camera zooms in on Ron's appalled face, then it cuts to him outside tossing his computer in the dumpster]

Leslie: Ann, I need you to text me every thirty seconds that everything is going to be okay.
Ann: Okay!
Leslie: [Phone rings] Thanks Ann!

Ron: Don’t sass me.

Chris: I am, of course, shocked. And not just because Ben usually prefers tall brunettes.

Leslie: Are we hugging or fighting? Let me know.

Ben: I wanted to sneak in before you got here…an absurd pipe dream I now realize is impossible.

Leslie: For me, a slap on the wrist is like a kick in the nuts.

Chris: My mouth feels like a spaceship.

Chris: Did you ever receive special treatment as a result of your relationship with Ben Wyatt?
Leslie: I received adorable nicknames and amazing back rubs. Oh, you meant professionally.

Leslie: Marcus Everett Langley was Pawnee's greatest lawyer at the turn of the century. His nickname was "Old Stone Face", because of his steely demeanor. And because he got in an accident at the Rock Quarry, and dynamite blew up his face.

Andy: Put the files in the drawer, let’s go.
Leslie: No.

Ethel Beavers: The official record has now been annoyingly re-opened, so that Leslie Knope can make a statement.

Leslie: In 1849, Sarah Nelson Quindle exposed her elbow outdoors, which was a class 'A' felony. Although she felt the law unjust, she acknowledged that she had broken it, and she nobly accepted her punishment: To be set adrift on Lake Michigan, like a human popsicle.

Leslie: When you sit back and let your reputation be destroyed, you go down in history as a frozen whore.

Ann: He said to look at the monster, I’m hoping you know what that means.

Leslie: Just to be safe, find out who it is and silence him.
Ron: With pleasure.
Leslie: Wait, let me be clear. Don’t silence him, just make sure he can’t talk.

Leslie: That’s “Y” “A,” and 18 “Y’s” and 44 exclamation points.

Leslie: Ann! Aaaahhh! Ben and I hooked up last night! And I learned how to use iMovie! Call me later. Bye!

Tom: Did Tom Ford turn around the house at Gucci?

April: It was Ethel Beavers! Beavers did it! I will hold MYSELF in contempt of the court!

Andy: Is this about the laptop? I didn't mean to steal it. I took it home and I spaced, I forgot. I'm gonna bring it back. It totally works, but I got spaghetti in the keyboard.

Leslie: The only thing that was ravaged were these federal grant proposals that Donna had dropped off earlier.

Leslie: And by the way, we got the gramps – grants – ugh, it was gonna be such an awesome moment.

Leslie: Tom, will you please tell the committee why we were kissing?
Tom: An online dating site randomly paired us up, so as a joke I thought it would be funny to pretend you and I were dating. And then you kissed me as a joke to shut me up.
Leslie: But we never had any other romantic contact after that?
Tom: No, that would be like dating my older sister's elderly aunt.

Ron: She's here.
Leslie: Who's here?
Ron: My ex-wife Tammy Two. I can smell the sulfur coming off her cloven hooves.

Chris: Ms. Swanson, do you - as you claimed - have evidence that links Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt to law-breaking?
Tammy Two: Absolutely. I have several photographs that will definitively prove...
Chris: May I remind you that you are under oath and if you lie I will fire you and have you prosecuted.
Tammy Two: Nothing! They will definitively prove nothing. Oh, you cut me off. I don't have any evidence! Oh Chris, so silly. OK bye, guys! Leslie, have fun with this trial. Yay!

Ron: In 1856, the city council banned all sexual positions except for missionary. And two years later, they banned missionary.
Tom: 1882. Should a Presbyterian speak out of turn, he may be caned across the shin bone.
April: Any woman caught laughing is a witch. That’s true.
Donna: Oh my God! Black people are still not legally allowed to use the public sidewalks.

Tom: Bribing someone to hide a sexcapade? I’m proud to call you a friend.

Leslie: This mural is called Bad Pawnee, Good Pawnee. All of the terrible things that have happened in this town's history are on one side. And on the other side are all the good things that have happened. I'm on the bad side.
Ron: No you're not.
Leslie: Yes, I am, Ron. I'm guilty. I did something bad. I'm a bad person.
Ron: It's not that simple. You know what makes a good person good? When a good person does something bad, they own up to it. They try to learn something from it and they move on.

Chris: I was just doing my job. I hope that you can understand that.
Leslie: I do. Honestly, I do.
Chris: ‘Cause your actions have wounded me to my core. Which is not easy, since the bulk of my workouts are focused on core strengthening.

Chris: You’re the only person I’ve met who’s worthy of being Ben’s girlfriend.

Chris: So, you are prepared to resign, effective immediately? And take full responsibility for all the events that transpired at Li'l Sebastian's Memorial?
Ben: That is correct.
Chris: Okay, fine. This makes me sadder than I previously thought humanly possible but I accept your resignation. Can I ask you one more question? Was all of this, all the sneaking around and scandal, losing your job, was...was it worth it?
Ben: Yes. It was. Because I love Leslie. I want to be with her and I don't want to hide the way I feel about her anymore. So yeah, it was worth it, because I'm in love with Leslie Knope.

Ethel: Crying noise. Crying noise. Nose blow.

Leslie: Jerry’s better, I’m going to call you Jerry.

Trivia[]

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