This article contains spoilers for the Parks and Recreation show. Continue at your own risk.
|Did you ever break your arm? You can answer that. Here, I'll turn it off.|
In the episode, Leslie is set up by Ann on a blind date with an MRI technician named Chris.
When Leslie Knope learns Pawnee is being sued by the previous owners of the lot where she is seeking to build a park, Ann Perkins refers her to her lawyer friend Justin, who she calls "the greatest guy ever". Justin helps Leslie resolve the issue, and the two seem to get along very well together. Having recently broken up with her boyfriend, Leslie asks Ann to set her up on a date, but is surprised when Ann hesitates to set her up with Justin. Instead, she arranges a date with Chris, an MRI technician Ann works with. The date goes poorly, with Chris appearing annoyed upon learning Leslie attended a rival college, and that she was a director of regular parks, not amusement parks.
When Leslie said she has never received an MRI, Chris takes her to the hospital to receive one. Chris makes uncomfortable comments, remarking that Leslie has an excellent uterus and asking whether she is having her period, presumably in anticipation of sex later. Leslie rejects his advances when the date ends, prompting him to make an angry goodbye, even though Leslie still needs to give him a ride home. Meanwhile, Mark Brendanawicz grows suspicious that Ann harbors romantic feelings for Justin. He eventually confronts Ann and accuses her of trying to "save" Justin for a possible relationship in the future. Mark asks Ann's ex-boyfriend Andy Dwyer, who also recalls Ann's infatuation with Justin. Andy scolds Ann for hurting Mark's feelings, then tries to trick her into thinking she was still dating Andy, which does not work. Realizing her behavior was inappropriate, Ann sets Leslie up on a date with Justin.
Meanwhile, Ron Swanson deals with complaints from local residents due to a new town policy requiring public officials to deal more directly to the public. Ron calls the policy "my hell", and seeks a new assistant to protect him from the citizens. Tom Haverford volunteers to find Ron an assistant, but during job interviews he asks questions about "real-world experience", such as what tie he should wear to the club and what to text girls at the bar. Tom brings forward a fast-talking candidate named Jean-Ralphio Saperstein, who closely resembles Tom. Ron hates him right away. April Ludgate draws attention around the office for showing up late and slacking off at work. Bored with her internship, April insists she cannot wait to leave the Parks Department. However, after spending time with Andy at the town hall shoeshine stand where he works, April decides she wants to stay closer to him and volunteers to be Ron's assistant. When she slams the door on Tom while he tries to talk to them, Ron immediately hires her.
Chris: Are you on your period?
Leslie: No. Does that matter?
Chris: Not for this.
Chris: Honestly, if you wanted to, you could go triplets right off the bat, Leslie.
Leslie: You know I was only with Mark for one night and I was hung up on him for six years. I dated Dave for three months, so if I continue that pattern I won't be over him for 500 years.
Leslie: Wait. How's he gonna know it's me? I'll wear a red rose in my hair. No, I'll wear a giant red hat. No, I don't have one of those. What should I wear? It's gotta be red.
Ann: I will just tell him what you look like.
Tom: I meet a girl at a bar. She seems kind of into me, could go either way. I get her number. It's two days later. What do I text her?
Zach: It was nice meeting you.
Tom: No, Zach. I don't text her it was nice meeting you. I wait eight weeks and I text her, "what's crackin'?"
Ann: Hey, how's the date going?
Leslie: Good, we just finished the MRI.
Jean-Ralphio: [being introduced to Ron by Tom] Mr. Swanson, two things: One, it is an absolute honor to meet you. Two, who is that hot intern chick out there? Because, honestly, DAAMMN! [he and Tom laugh, but Ron doesn't]
Tom: [after Jean-Ralphio leaves, feeling excited] So what do you think about your new assistant?
Ron: I want to punch you in the face so bad right now.
Tom: [disappointed] Okay. Message received; I'll keep looking.
Ron: Thank you. Bring me the opposite of him.
April: [walks into Ron's office] I want to be your assistant.
Ron: Really? You hate it here.
April: So do you. [Ron makes a look as if to say "Touché"] I'll make sure you don't have to go to any meetings. If anyone comes to see you, I'll scare them away.
Tom: [walks up to Ron's door holding two neckties] April, if you had to choose between these two ties- [April slams the door on him]
Ron: You're hired. [April smiles]
April: I just figured, I might as well get paid for being here.
Leslie: Ten months ago, she was an intern who could give a C-R-A-P about local government. Now, she's our newest employee. To April!
Tom, Donna: Cheers!
April: [stopping Jerry from walking into Ron's office] Where are you going?
Jerry: I want to talk to Ron about the size of my desk.
April: Jerry, you have to schedule an appointment.
Jerry: Okay. How about now?
April: Ron's not here.
Jerry: [pointing] He's right there. I-I can see him! [Ron is in his office, looking at Jerry]
April: I'll let you know when he's available. [she smiles; Jerry sighs and leaves]
Ron: [raises his mug and April raises her champagne glass] Atta girl.