This article contains spoilers for the Parks and Recreation show. Continue at your own risk.
|It's true. I no longer have highly trained, professional campaign managers. So what? Are most murders committed by highly trained, professional assassins? No, they're committed by friends and coworkers! That analogy was way better in my head.|
|— Leslie Knope|
Leslie Knope and the Parks Department are planning a big comeback for Leslie's campaign. She asks Ann Perkins to be her campaign manager, turning down Ann's suggestion of the unemployed and experienced Ben Wyatt since his presence may remind voters of their scandal. The team organise a rally at the Pawnee Sports Building, and Ann manages to land high school basketball legend Pete Disellio. Pete will endorse Leslie, but he refuses to allow the campaign to associate him with basketball or even use his nickname since he is tired of the town always bringing up his one famous game, and he continues to open up more about his life problems to an uncomfortable Ann.
Chris Traeger visits Ben at his home, where he sees Ben very involved in a variety of hobbies, such as claymation and calzone making, neither of which are very good. Chris guesses that Ben is actually very depressed and is using the hobbies as a distraction, but doesn't say anything and decides to let Ben figure it out for himself. Meanwhile, as the parks department is driving to the Pawnee Sports Building, they are pulled over by police Officer Len, who makes them abandon the vehicle due to Ron Swanson not being licensed to drive the truck. They are forced to leave behind most of the supplies and cram what they can into Leslie's car. Upon arriving at the venue, it is discovered that the basketball court April Ludgate supposedly booked has in fact been converted into an ice hockey rink. Even worse, due to most of the supplies being abandoned, only a portion of Leslie's campaign banner is displayed, while Ron is only able to create a miniature podium with no stairs.
When Leslie goes out on the ice to give her speech, Tom Haverford's red carpet ends abruptly, so she and the whole department slowly creep their way to the podium, while Andy Dwyer and April's new dog Champion pees all over Ron. Leslie finally gets to the podium, but her index cards are out of order and her speech falls flat. Suddenly, Pete arrives – having sorted out his issues with Ann – and endorses Leslie to the crowd's delight. Pete attempts to dunk, but he immediately slips and breaks his arm. The event is a complete disaster. Ben eventually realizes how pathetic his life has become after showing Chris a five second claymation video that took him three weeks to produce. Chris cheers Ben up and Ben is touched by his friend's efforts to help. He later accepts an offer from Leslie to become her new campaign manager.
Leslie: Ann, you beautiful tropical fish.
Ann: You just hired me like eight seconds ago.
April: Wow, you're doing a really bad job.
Ron: I don't want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief.
Leslie: See, there's more things to look at on the internet other than naked guys, Ann.
Ron: Tom, we're already late. Now be a man and sit on that girl's lap!
Leslie: Ben, my campaign manager and I have made a decision.
Ann: We've decided to fire that campaign manager, me.
Leslie: And hire you.
Leslie: [upon noticing the red carpet ends shortly] Tom?
Tom: I couldn't afford enough premium carpet to get us to the stage. I mean, it was a short walk but it was pretty luxurious right?
Leslie: Okay. [she braces herself and carefully shuffles onto the ice]
Ron: I'm holding the dog - he is peeing. He is now peeing. And I'm putting him down.
Ben: [to Chris] I'll show you my claymation project. Okay, now I have been working pretty hard on this and I think it's really good. So just hang onto your hat, okay? Here it goes. [he presses play, the title shows "Ben Wyatt Presents 'Requiem for a Tuesday'", and the video begins with a man standing up in bed to the opening of R.E.M.'s "Stand"... and the video abruptly ends; Ben and Chris are stumped]
Chris: Did you pause it?
Ben: No. I- Hang on. [he plays the video again and it ends as soon as it begins; Ben sighs disappointingly] Oh, my God. That's the whole thing. [he buries his face in his hands]
Ben: And will call my new Italian fast casual eatery the Low Cal Calzone Zone.
Chris: [to Ben] That idea is literally the greatest idea I have ever heard in my life. [to camera in private] That idea is terrible.