THE BRAND-NEW "PAWNEE PARK" State Record Holder: Smallest Park in Indiana!
What this park lacks in size, it makes up for in... lack of size! That's right; move over Terryville, because the smallest park in the state of Indiana just landed in Pawnee!
This park sits on a very unique site, not just as the location of Pawnee's last remaining telephone booth, but also as the only area in Pawnee bigger than three feet in diameter to have witnessed zero Native American atrocities.
So, come one, come all - but no more than three (maximum capacity) - and see for yourself what many passersby are calling "a small park."
According to Leslie Knope, the park is 0.000003 square miles and was created when the last remaining phone booths in Pawnee were torn down. Martin Luther King, Jr. Park in Terryville was previously the smallest park in Indiana.
Hours[edit | edit source]
Facilities[edit | edit source]
- A two-person (or, one average Pawneean) bench
- A Madison auto-lighter gas lamp
- High levels of cuteness
Programs[edit | edit source]
- Midnight Fireworks - Nightly
- March of the Barking Dogs: An Exhibit (not an exhibit, but very loud) - Every Saturday
- Foghorn Collectors Showcase - 6:00 a.m. on Sunday
- Techno Dance Class - 11:00 p.m. on Friday
- Salsa Dance Class - 11:00 p.m. on Friday
- Salsa or Techno? Why Not Both at the Same Time?! - 11:00 p.m. on Friday
- FLUMP! (An Amateur Production of Stomp) - During local bedtimes
- Flash Mobs - Anytime and always welcome
- Bring in 'Da Noise, Bring in 'Da More Noise: Interpretive Noise - 4:30 a.m. on Saturday
Notes[edit | edit source]
- All above programs have been canceled because everything is fine now and local resident complaints are no longer needed for reasons that need not be explained.
- FLUMP! founder and sole member, Gan Orly, will still be performing his weekly unauthorized show in the parking lot of the Arby's on Kewler St.