This article contains spoilers for the Parks and Recreation show. Continue at your own risk.
|You're a steamroller! You're a massive, runaway steamroller with no brakes and a cement brick on the gas pedal!|
|— Ann Perkins|
Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt have collaborated on a project to establish the Smallest Park in Indiana. However, Ben tells Leslie that he plans to focus on other departments after it opens because he is sadly reminded of their failed romantic relationship when he's around her. Leslie decides to delay the opening of the park for as long as possible so they can keep working together. Chris Traeger asks Tom Haverford and Jerry Gergich to create a new logo for the parks department, which is basically just choosing a new font, but Tom wants to do much more. Andy Dwyer plans to go back to college, starting with one class.
April Ludgate suggests that Andy take an easy class in order to get a high grade, so he chooses the beginner's guitar course. Andy quickly becomes bored with the class, so Ron Swanson suggests he challenge himself with a tougher class. Andy finds the new class boring as well, so he randomly chooses Intro to Women's Studies, which he finds fascinating. Unfortunately, he cannot afford the registration fee, so Ron decides to pay for his class. Meanwhile, Tom goes overboard with Chris' project, making plans to remodel existing parks and pitch a reality show. Jerry warns that Tom's outlandish thinking was what doomed Tom's company, Entertainment 720. Tom is depressed about his future as a mindless bureaucrat, but when he sees Jerry's first ID card from 1977, he becomes inspired by its font. He pitches the font for the new logo, along with a line of limited edition merchandise based on it, which are well received by Chris.
Leslie holds a public forum on the smallest park and tries to make it as long as possible, but is annoyed when the usually cantankerous Pawnee townspeople are supportive of the park and the forum ends quickly. Leslie subsequently distributes flyers around town stating that the park will hold loud events and other falsehoods, prompting a protest demanding an environmental impact report which will take a year to release, allowing Leslie and Ben to keep working together. Ben disperses the protesters by refuting all of Leslie's claims, and tells Chris that he no longer wants to work with Leslie because she never respects his wishes and always demands things her way.
Ann Perkins tells Leslie that Ben is right about her overbearing need to have things her way, but after seeing how sad she is, Ann privately asks Ben to talk to Leslie. Ben meets with Leslie at the smallest park where the two reluctantly agree to keep their distance from each other. As Ben prepares to leave, Leslie says that she wants him back and doesn't care if it will jeopardize her City Council campaign or her job. The two kiss, ready to face the consequences of their relationship.
Andy: I did not graduate college because I did not [gestures with fingers] "attend" it.
Ron: My first day of college, my father dropped me off at the steel mill. He didn't think I should go to college, but I hitched a ride, enrolled, and learned a lot.
Leslie: As a mature, reasonable adult I understand that this will be the last project Ben and I will be working on together. So, please join us the grand opening of Pawnee's smallest park on November 12th, 2070.
Jerry: Now see, I think that Comic Sans always screams “FUN”, right? But, man, those R's in Helvetica would be really poppin’ for me!
Tom: Ugh, I have never been more bored in my life. Who cares about letters? The only good font is the Sopranos one, where the R is a gun.
Tom: [to the crew] Yes, technically my new job is my old job. But, I'm not some boring Jerry Gergich-type guy. I'm more of a Steve Harvey - I dream big, I shake things up, and always wear dope suits. [brushes his left shoulder]
Andy: As ready as I'll ever be. Oh, crap I forgot my books. And my computer.
April: Horizons are dumb, never broaden your horizons.
Andy: Guess what guys? I was secretly an undercover rock star this whole time.
Ron: For what it’s worth, I think you’d make an incredible brunette. Ron Swanson.
Andy: He's not even using a laser pointer!
Ron: You can take a class on the Civil War.
Andy: Why would I take a class on something that's already happened?
Women's Studies professor: As she was burned at the stake, Joan of Arc did not cower. She did not beg for mercy. She said in a strong, clear voice, "I am not afraid. I was born to do this."
April: [entranced] I want to be burned at the stake.
Women's Studies professor: To this day, some feminists have even condemned marriage as a glorified form of slavery.
Ron: [having been previously married to Tammy I and Tammy II] Amen.
Ron: If that woman weren't so violently opposed to marriage, I think I'd propose to her.
Andy: Andy Dwyer will be taking Women's Lasers.
April: [corrects him] Women's Studies.
Andy: Sorry. God, I cannot stop thinking about lasers. Women's Studies! Is there such thing as Women's Lasers? That'd be my number one pick.
Andy: I've barely ever even seen a "gortar."
Tom: These are our current Park Rangers. What are they are up to? No one cares. They’re boring, and I hate them.
Andy: Do you want a shoe shine?
April: It's $100. [Kyle chuckles] Laugh all you want, Kyle. I already took the money out of your wallet. [hands the wallet back to him]
Kyle: [letdown] Oh.
Ron: One thing I promised myself, when I buried gold in my backyard, was that I’d never be a hoarder or a miser about it.
Leslie: Oh, my God. Everything in my life is going wrong right now. Who's fault is this? I demand to know.
Jerry: [to Tom] Weekends are for dreaming. You're a government worker - this is a government job. Plus, isn't dreaming big exactly what got you in trouble with your old company? [Realizing Jerry's right, Tom becomes depressed]
Tom: [to Chris describing the new Parks and Rec logo] So, we take the old logo from the 1970s and we make limited edition hats, posters, T-shirts, everything. People love limited editions. Plus, parents will get swept up in the nostalgia and want to go to the parks to re-create the fun they had growing up.
Chris: [amazed] THIS... is amazing! It is possibly the best idea anyone has had in this government in 100 years. Tom, terrific.
Tom: Thanks. But most of the credit goes to my number four - Jerry. [Jerry looks at him surprised] He shared some words of wisdom to me today, and while he was yammering on about whatever, I happened to see his old I.D. card. [to Jerry] Thanks, buddy.
Ann: You're a steamroller! You're a massive, runaway steamroller with no brakes and a cement brick on the gas pedal! You made me watch all eight Harry Potter movies. I don’t even like Harry Potter!
Leslie: That’s insane! You love Harry Potter! You've seen all eight movies!
Andy: I know! I'm gonna beg for money on the street, like a drug addict.
Leslie: I miss you like crazy. I think about you all the time. I want to be with you. So let's just say screw it.