Are you even listening to yourself? You're defending the library now? Ron, the library! Of all the horrifying miserable things in the world.
Leslie Knope

"Ron and Tammy" is the eighth episode of season 2 of the NBC television series Parks and Recreation. It originally aired on November 5, 2009 and had 4.94 million viewers.

In the episode, the Pawnee Library Department tries to take the pit from Leslie. Ron's ex-wife, one of Leslie's directors, tries to use Ron to get her way.

The episode was written by Mike Scully and was directed by Troy Miller. "Ron and Tammy" featured comedienne and actress Megan Mullally, the real-life wife of Parks actor Nick Offerman, in a guest appearance as Ron's ex-wife, Tammy 2. According to Nielsen Ratings, "Ron and Tammy" was seen by 4.93 million households; it's rating of 2.2 was the season's highest so far. The episode received generally positive reviews, with most commentators particularly praising Offerman's performance.

Storyline Edit

Andy Dwyer takes over as the shoeshiner at the Pawnee town hall, replacing "Old Gus", who insults everybody during a farewell party. Later, Mark breaks the bad news to Leslie Knope that the Pawnee library has placed a planning claim for Lot 48, which Leslie has been working to turn into a park. Leslie and the rest of the parks department express hatred for the library, which Leslie declares a "diabolical, ruthless bunch of bureaucrats", much to the confusion of Ann Perkins. Ron Swanson is particularly angry to learn his ex-wife Tammy 2, who he insists is evil incarnate, is the new library director.

Leslie decides to confront Tammy directly, only to find Tammy seems to be a friendly woman who instantly agrees to let Leslie have Lot 48 as a "professional courtesy". Impressed, Leslie brings Tammy to the parks department so she can talk to Ron and work out their differences. Tammy and an agitated Ron go off to have coffee, and Donna Meagle insists to Leslie that the arrangement is a mistake because the two are crazy together. At a local diner, Ron and Tammy immediately start a very loud argument in front of the other patrons. Moments later, however, the two are publicly making out on the table in front of everyone. The two rush off to Motel Glen Capri, where they strip their clothing before even entering the building.

Ann and her boyfriend Mark run into Andy, Ann's ex-boyfriend. Andy flirts with Ann in front of Mark, and openly admits he plans to win her back from him. Mark asks advice from Tom Haverford, who suggests Mark should take the high road. Mark tries to have a have a gentlemanly discussion with Andy, who continues to insist he loves Ann, pointing to the many photos he has of her around his shoeshine station. Finally, Ann confronts Andy and tells him to stop discussing her with Mark, as well as to remove her photos from the wall.

A cheery and singing Ron openly discusses the details his sexual exploits with Tammy to an uncomfortable Leslie. Although she is initially pleased with the results of her meddling, Leslie soon realizes Tammy is using sex to manipulate Ron to give her control of Lot 48. Leslie confronts Tammy, who admits to the plot and brags that this is how the library operates. Leslie tries to get Ron to break up with Tammy, but he insists he cannot confront her without Leslie's help. The two go to the library, where Ron starts to cave in when Tammy flirts with him. Leslie tells Ron to do whatever will make him happy, even if it means giving up the lot. Ron, impressed that a woman would put his own needs first, decides instead to break up with Tammy and give the lot back to Leslie. After breaking the news to Tammy, he flees from the library with a push-pin stuck in his forehead, and part of his mustache missing.


Leslie: Pawnee's library department is the most diabolical ruthless bunch of bureaucrats I've ever seen. They're like a biker gang. But instead of shotguns and crystal meth, they use political savvy... and shushing.

Leslie: [referring to Tammy] I have to go talk to her, and you have got to give me something I can use. Does she have any weaknesses?
Ron: No.
Leslie: What do you mean "no"? Everybody has a weakness.
Ron: Not machines. I honestly believe that she was programmed by someone in the future to come back and destroy all happiness.
Leslie: I see.

Leslie: I knew that you had two ex-wives named Tammy. So I was hoping that there's one that you got along with.
Ron: No, I hate them both.

Ron: On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rushed to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to Hell one last time.

Tammy: It's really good to see you, Ron.
Ron: You've aged horribly.
Tammy: ...You son of a bitch.
Ron: That didn't take long.
Tammy: [loudly] OH, MY GOD! What is your problem?! Nothing's changed, has it?? Who set the bed on fire, huh??
Ron: [also loudly] I DID!! OKAY, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR??!

Leslie: When you meddle in someone's personal life, it's just so... rewarding.

Old Gus: Well I've been listening to your boring speeches for the last 50 years. And now it's time for you to listen to one of mine. You know a day like this makes a man reflect upon his life. And I've come to the conclusion that I've completely wasted mine. And just for the record, I never ever liked being called "Old Gus." I didn't understand it when I was in my 20s and I sure hate it now. So go to hell every single one of ya. Screw Pawnee, and screw your damn shoes!
Andy: [laughing] Oh, Gus. That's classic.

Leslie: Oh, my God! Ron, tell me the truth. Are you giving her the lot??
Ron: Not 'giving'. We have discussed a trade.
Leslie: For what??
Ron: [mutters] More se...
Leslie: Excuse me?
Ron: [clearer] More sex.

Leslie: [after realizing Tammy's power has a hold on Ron] She's in your head. You said that she was a manipulative monster and you were right.
Ron: [in denial] No. No! Tammy's changed.
Leslie: Look me in the eye and tell me that she's changed. [Ron doesn't] Look me in the eye!
Ron: [he looks at her and caves] I'm so screwed, now. Her hooks are in my brain.
Leslie: Yep.
Ron: [breaking down] She has all the power and I have nothing. I'm so little. [he weeps]

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