This article contains spoilers for the Parks and Recreation show. Continue at your own risk.
|Yeah, I snuck an Al Green song in there. I want them to get together, sue me.|
|— Ann Perkins|
Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt still harbor strong romantic feelings for each other but cannot date due to Chris Traeger's strict policy against workplace dating. Just as Ann Perkins suggests to Leslie that she should avoid being alone with Ben, Chris asks Leslie and Ben to drive to Indianapolis to pitch Pawnee as the next host of the Indiana Little League Baseball tournament. Leslie and Ann devise numerous boring conversation topics for the trip to prevent it from becoming romantic. After an awkward drive to Indianapolis, Leslie and Ben speak before the little league commission, which seems reluctant to choose Pawnee for the tournament. Ben delivers a heartfelt speech about the town, but also appears to be secretly speaking about his feelings for Leslie.
The speech clearly impresses both the judges and Leslie, and Pawnee is ultimately selected for the tournament. Leslie reluctantly accepts Ben's invitation to a celebratory dinner that night, where Ben brings up his feelings for Leslie. She slips away to call Ann for advice, and she urges Leslie to act on her feelings. Just as Leslie decides to do so, she is surprised to find Chris has arrived at the dinner to congratulate the two personally. He insists they sleep at his home in Indianapolis, ruining their night. The next day, Leslie and Ben run into each other alone. Ben immediately kisses her, leaving Leslie simultaneously delighted and nervous about their future.
Meanwhile, Tom Haverford asks Andy Dwyer, April Ludgate, Jerry Gergich and Donna Meagle to participate in a new game show called Know Ya Boo, that he is hoping to pitch to networks; he admits that it is a rip-off of The Newlywed Game. It quickly becomes clear that Jerry and Donna know much more about each other than the recently-married Andy and April. When April reveals her favorite band is Neutral Milk Hotel and not Andy's band Mouse Rat, Andy angrily leaves the game and they later have a big fight which causes him to quit his music. April seeks advice from Ann because, although she dislikes her, Ann previously dated Andy for several years. Ann tells April she has to be supportive of Andy no matter how she feels. The next day, April brings the other members of Mouse Rat to City Hall and surprises Andy by singing his song "The Pit". A thrilled Andy reconciles with April.
In a separate subplot, a young girl named Lauren Berkus asks to interview Ron Swanson for her school's field trip assignment to City Hall. Ron initially resists, but soon espouses his libertarian beliefs to her. He illustrates the concept of taxes by eating 40 percent of Lauren's lunch, to compare his actions to those of the government. She eagerly accepts his anti-government views. He delights in discussing politics with her, telling her she's smarter than most of the people who work at City Hall. As she's leaving, he excitedly dashes back into his office and comes back out to give her a Claymore Landmine. The next day, Lauren's furious mother reveals her daughter's assignment was "Why Government Matters" and that Lauren simply wrote "It doesn't". Ron apologizes, and later tells Lauren she should keep her views on government to herself until she gets older, to listen to her teachers, and to read as much as she can.
Leslie: Ann, everything you have is too sexy. This is actually the dress Julia Roberts wore as prostitute in Pretty Woman.
Ann: I know. I look really good in it.
Ron: My name is Ron Swanson, and I'm gonna tell you everything you need to know about the miserable screwed-up world of local government. [eats his pretzel]
Lauren: You have mustard in your mustache.
Ron: Don't sass me, Berkus. Let's get started.
Ron: It's never too early to learn that the government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer's teat until they have sore, chapped nipples. [awkward pause] I'm gonna need a different metaphor to give this nine year old.
Leslie: And so as you can see, Pawnee has 12 beautiful baseball diamonds. And our seats have extra cushions due to the massive size of our average citizen.
Leslie: The raccoon problem is under control. They have their part of the town and we have ours.
Leslie: I'm gonna go see a man about some porcelain, you know what I mean? I'm not buying cocaine. I'm going to the bathroom. The whiz palace, as I like to call it.
Mrs. Berkus: Are you Ron Swanson?
Ron: I am.
Mrs. Berkus: Okay, what exactly did you teach my daughter?
Ron: Oh, you must be Mrs. Berkus.
Mrs. Berkus: Lauren was supposed to do a paper on "Why Government Matters". This is what she wrote. [hands him a paper]
Ron: [reads it] "It doesn't". [chuckles] Well said.
Ron: All I'm saying is, keep an open mind for a while. Listen to your teachers, and read all the books you can. Then, when you're eighteen, you can drink, gamble, and become a Libertarian.
Lauren: The drinking age is twenty-one.
Ron: I know. Another stupid government rule.