This article contains spoilers for the Parks and Recreation show. Continue at your own risk.
Storyline[edit | edit source]
Ben Wyatt unveils the new city website for Pawnee. The first goal of the website is to host an online poll, where people can vote on the new town slogan. Later, Leslie Knope meets with Grant Larson, the Director of the Midwest Branch of the National Parks Service, to further discuss the details of the job offer he presented her with in "The Wall". While excited about the prospect of moving up in the government, Leslie is not overly pleased with finding out that in her new role, she will no longer be doing everyday minutiae, a component of her current job that she loves very much. Grant informs her that she will instead delegate the nitty-gritty roles as she will be overseeing 200 people and be focusing on creative, big picture stuff – with no more "boring" paperwork to do.
After her meeting with Grant, Leslie meets up with Ben, who is ready to go live with the slogan poll. Ben comments on the fact that with the online poll, neither he nor Leslie have to do anything – the website does all the work. Realizing the website's role is rather similar to the role she will have at this new job, Leslie sets out to convince herself that the nitty-gritty components of government work is better i.e. go door-to-door to promote the poll, hand out flyers, canvass and even hold a press junket. She meets with notable town icons such as Perd Hapley, Joan Callamezzo and Crazy Ira and The Douche to try and get them to promote the slogan poll, but the listeners of Crazy Ira and The Douche's radio program bombard the poll with votes for "Pawnee: Welcome To Douche Nation". The following day, she goes on their radio program in an attempt to get their listeners to instead vote for a more elegant slogan. This backfires on Leslie as the listeners instead vote for a new, more crude slogan in "Pawnee: Home of the Stick Up Leslie Knope's Butt". This leads to Leslie getting ahold of everyone's email addresses who voted on that slogan and personally emailing them to ask they vote for a real slogan, which unintentionally leads to a lot of complaints and the website getting hacked. Leslie insists she will take on all the overflow work with the website being down, but after Ben deduces something's not quite right, she admits to Ben that the hands-on, nitty-gritty work that will be lost with taking on the new job is bugging her, as she would really miss that. Ben suggests Leslie use the upcoming slogan public forum to practice delegating, so she entrusts Jerry Gergich with the responsibility of running the public forum. While uncomfortable for her, the forum runs relatively smoothly and she is impressed with the outcome – a suitable slogan of "When You're Here, Then You're Home". While she will miss micro-managing, Ben comforts Leslie with the fact that there is no way she will fail if she takes the national parks job.
Meanwhile, Tom Haverford is in need of a place for his impending restaurant venture, Tom's Bistro. He enlists Donna Meagle as his realtor, while April Ludgate tags along to give her opinion on the available properties. Over a span of two days, nothing is deemed suitable by Tom or April. Tom laments that maybe Tom's Bistro was not meant to be and plans to inform his investor that he can't find a suitable property. April admits to Donna that she purposefully said negative things about the properties to keep Tom at the Parks Department, to which Donna admits she showcased poor properties to also ensure Tom stays. Feeling bad for Tom, Donna sets up another meet with a much more suitable place that is closer to City Hall and in his price range. After a pep talk from April, Tom agrees to commit to Tom's Bistro.
Elsewhere, Andy Dwyer is in need of bands to play at the Unity Concert, but has so far been unsuccessful in his recruiting. Craig Middlebrooks informs Andy that Cozy's Bar often gets good crowds on Thursdays, so Andy goes to check it out. There he finds Duke Silver, and noticing how much Duke resembles Ron Swanson, he confronts Ron the next day. Ron admits he is Duke Silver, but insists Andy keep it a secret as his music career is a private venture. Andy decides to book Ron/Duke for the Unity Concert, so as a result, Ron quits music and throws away his saxophone, citing "I would rather never play again then have everyone know my secret." Andy retrieves Ron's saxophone from the trash and insists he does not give up his music career, acknowledging that his well-kept secret is safe with him.
Goofs[edit | edit source]
- Ron explains that April and Tom are the only ones who know about "Duke Silver", unaware that Mark also knows about him because he told Tom about him, as well as Diane when he exposed his identity to her previously.
Quotes[edit | edit source]
April: A Larry voodoo doll? Tom, that's so sweet. Thanks! [Larry then hits his head]
Larry: OH! Oh, my gosh!
April: I didn't even do anything - the voodoo doll is reading my thoughts!
Andy: [at Cozy's] Gosh, this place is packed! [to a few women] You folks must really like this guy.
Woman: Honey, he is sex on a stick! [Andy winces after hearing that]
[Andy walks in Ron's office the next day after seeing him perform as Duke Silver]
Ron: Can I help you?
Andy: Maybe. I was out at a jazz club last night, scouting bands for the unity concert, and I saw something very interesting. [Ron becomes alarmed and remotely closes his doors]
Ron, Andy: [both talk at the same time] I am Duke Silver. You have a twin brother. What? I have a twin brother. You are Duke Silver??
Ron: [the cat is out of the bag] Yes, I am Duke Silver. [Andy excitingly laughs]
Ron: [after tossing his saxophone case in the dumpster] I am ending my secret musical career. I have to kill Duke Silver.
Ron: [tosses his/Duke's hat in the dumpster] Goodbye, Duke Silver. May you rest... in jazz.
[Tom, April, and Donna are at an old shop that sold tires and donuts]
April: This place is creepy! I mean, I love it because it reminds me of a cafeteria at a haunted nursing home, but that's just me.
Leslie: Okay, the Public Forum will be run by... [scans a mostly empty Parks and Recreation office, until she sees Larry] Oh, no, I would not have started this sentence if I knew that Larry was the only one here.
Ben: Babe, if you could step back and let Larry take control, you could survive anything.
Leslie: Larry? Could you come in here?
Larry: Um, I would love to but - gosh-darnit - I somehow ran my belt through a slat in the chair, so I'm... [stands up and the chair comes up with him] kinda stuck to it, now. [he then makes a mess as he moves with the chair]
[Andy walks into Ron's office with the saxophone case]
Ron: You really shouldn't have dug that out of the dumpster.
Andy: I had to. Also, I had a banana on the way over here. [he takes a banana peel off the saxophone case and tosses it in the trash] Sorry.
Andy: Your secret is safe with me. [Ron nods in understanding] To even it out, I'm gonna tell you all of my secrets. [Andy pulls out a paper]
Ron: Oh, no. That's... not necessary.
Andy: [reading his secrets] I once forgot to brush my teeth for 5 weeks. I didn't actually sell my last car - I just forgot where I parked it. I don't know who Al Gore is, and at this point I'm too afraid to ask. When they say "2% milk", I do not know what the other 98% is. When I was a baby, my head was so big scientists did experiments on me. I once threw a beer at a swan and then it attacked my niece, Rebecca.
Andy: You don't have to play the unity concert, but don't quit music. Please. [he leaves and Ron contemplates as he looks at his saxophone case]
Pawnee man: [holding a fish bowl] I think the slogan should be "Pawnee - Home of Crackers, the Orangest Goldfish in Indiana".
Pawnee man 2: Who even needs a slogan?
Larry: Uh, well, now that is an interesting point.
Pawnee man 2: No, that's my slogan idea. "Who Even Needs a Slogan?", and then a big picture of me flipping everybody off. [he flips off two censored birds]
Larry: Okay. Who's next? [points to a woman] Yes, ma'am.
Pawnee woman: [stands up] This slogan is gonna go on every sign in town. I think it should be something real that we can all be proud of. [Leslie smiles in approval] I've lived in Pawnee my whole life, and it can be a strange place but overall it's a warm and wonderful town. My idea for a slogan is "When You're Here, Then You're Home".
Larry: Well, that's lovely.
Grammatically Incorrect Lady: "Your" is spelled wrong; it should be y-o-u-r.
Larry: Okay, let's vote. All of those in favor. [he raises his hand and so does mostly everyone in the room - except for the douches] Approved! [he and everyone applauds; the douches are not happy]