This article contains spoilers for the Parks and Recreation show. Continue at your own risk.
|Joan? I thought you were Jennifer Aniston filming a movie here.|
|— Tom Haverford|
Leslie Knope, Tom Haverford and Ben Wyatt start promoting the upcoming Harvest Festival on several Pawnee media outlets, starting with the local morning zoo radio show "Crazy Ira and The Douche". The duo begin asking Ben questions about his time as a teen mayor in Partridge, Minnesota, having researched how he bankrupted the town. Ben responds awkwardly, stammering incomprehensibly and unable to defend himself to Crazy Ira and The Douche's taunts. Tom proposes dumping Ben from future media interviews, but Leslie insists they cannot because he is the only one who can handle complicated questions about its budget. Meanwhile, April Ludgate accepts an offer from Chris Traeger to move to Indianapolis to be his secretary. Andy Dwyer begs April to reconsider, offering to perform all the errands that she hates doing for a month. Ron Swanson volunteers to help, claiming that he does not want to lose April as an assistant while denying he cares about April and Andy's relationship. Ann Perkins is increasingly frustrated that Chris has not asked her about coming to Indianapolis with him, and is concerned about where their relationship is headed.
Unfortunately, Ben's past comes up again during Leslie's interview with newspaper reporter Shauna Malwae-Tweep, who asks why Pawnee should accept financial guidance from someone with a poor budget managing record like Ben. Tom and Ben go on the television show "Ya Heard? With Perd!" with Perd Hapley in the hopes of recovering from the earlier debacle, but this interview is even worse, with Ben launching into a furious, incoherent rant when his past is brought up. As a result, several businesses consider pulling their sponsorships from the Harvest Festival. Leslie decides to use her upcoming interview on "Pawnee Today" with Joan Callamezzo to perform damage control. During the interview, Joan asks very biased questions about the festival and Ben's past. Annoyed, Leslie brings Ben on stage to give him a final opportunity to explain himself. Ben again begins to freeze up at the questions from people calling in, but he finally gets over it and vigorously defends himself. By the end, the questions switch back from Ben to the festival itself, making the media blitz a successful one after all. At the end of the episode Tom, Leslie, and Ben watch more of Ben's destructive interview with Perd, with Ben finally joining in on the joke.
Chris tells Ann that after Indianapolis, he will be sent to a different city. The two agree they need to talk about the future of their relationship. Meanwhile, Andy's difficult day of running errands for April culminates with him getting arrested after April's sister Natalie Ludgate claims he is kidnapping her when he is merely picking her up from school. Ron approaches April and tells her that she should either forgive Andy or cut him loose, believing that she is only stringing Andy along and going to Indianapolis to spite him. When Andy returns, April finally forgives him and kisses him.
Andy: Tell me your least favorite things you have to do everyday and I'll do them for a month.
April: Fine. If you do everything I hate for a month, then I might begin to think about the possibility of thinking about maybe staying.
Andy: That's all I have to hear. You won't live to regret this.
Ron: [typing on a typewriter; April, Jerry, and Donna are annoyed by the sound] I found this typewriter next to the courtyard dumpster — an old Underwood Five with original carriage return. [pulls the carriage return and it slides back, making a *ding* sound; Ron relishes the sound] Took her home, polished her up, and bought a brand new ribbon off of ElectronicBay.com.
April: [unable to stand the typewriter] Okay, somebody's got to do something. I'm getting a cluster headache.
Jerry: [notices Ron getting up] Oh! He's leaving. [Ron leaves his office; Donna, April, Tom, and Jerry make their move]
Tom: Let's go! I'm gonna throw it away. [tries to pick up the typewriter, but can't] No, I'm not! It weighs a billion tons.
Jerry: What is he typing, anyway?
Donna: [reading] "If you sons of bitches try to remove this typewriter, I'll kill you." [they momentarily freeze, then quickly scatter out of Ron's office]
Ron: [returning with a big stack of paper] I'm gonna type every word I know! [Donna, Tom, and Jerry are dismayed as Ron types] "Rectangle! America! Megaphone! Monday!" [April looks at the camera in despair] "Butthole!"
Ron: [on April and Andy] No, I don't care about their relationship. I just don't want to lose April. I would never be able to find a worse assistant.
Ron: [reading April's to-do list] "Encapsulate the spirit of melancholy". Easy. [takes pictures] Boom, a sad desk. Boom, sad wall. It's art. Anything is anything.
Leslie: [on the Harvest Festival] Well, the Douche, it's a Pawnee tradition and it's where fun meets awesome...meets agriculture.
Ron: [takes a picture of Ben] Boom. Sadness. That's the one. [Ben looks at the camera, speechless and confused]
April: [reading Andy's "Thank You" letter for her grandfather] "Dear April's grandmother." I said grandfather.
Andy: Oh, oops. OK.
April: "You are a beautiful and amazing woman." Man. "I hope someday I can become half the woman you are." He's a man. "Thank you for the $500." It was five dollars. "Enjoy the Mouse Rat CD." He is deaf.
Andy: OK, do you want me to make those changes or is it good?