This article contains spoilers for the Parks and Recreation show. Continue at your own risk.
|Okay, well... the first draft of my vows which I wrote the day after we got engaged clocked in at around 70 pages. But I don't have them with me today... Maybe there's a copy of them in my office.|
|— Leslie Knope|
Picking up from where "Emergency Response" left off, Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt commit to getting married that night, with just a two-hour window to get everything ready so as to coincide with an 11pm gala finish. The two set off to begin their preparations with plans to get the whole office to Ann's house for an emergency meeting. At Ann's house, Leslie divides up the tasks to everyone in the room. Ann Perkins is tasked with the dress and cake, Chris Traeger volunteers to help Ben find wedding rings, Andy Dwyer and April Ludgate agree to organize marriage licenses, and Tom Haverford insists he be the officiant. Donna Meagle and Jerry Gergich return to the gala to keep things running smoothly.
While Andy and April successfully locate the marriage licenses, Ben and Chris have no luck with finding suitable rings. Leslie's original dress that she planned to wear for the wedding scheduled in three months is not ready, forcing Ann to make last-minute changes to the dress.
As Andy and April get the marriage license signed off by Ethel Beavers, Tom runs into a dead end with becoming an ordained minister, as it takes 24 hours for a minister certification to be sent to him. Funnily enough, Jerry is actually already ordained, so the two pair up to co-host the celebration. Meanwhile, Ron Swanson assists Ben and Chris in their ring search by improvising. He removes Ann's wall light and takes it back to his wood working shed in order to meld it into two rings.
Everything seems to be on schedule and going smoothly, until Councilman Jeremy Jamm shows up at the gala. Intoxicated and peeved at Leslie for stealing his lot, Jamm sets out to ruin proceedings. Despite Jamm's presence, the makeshift wedding goes ahead. However, as Leslie is walking down the aisle alongside Ron, Jamm interrupts the ceremony and causes a racket. Angry at Jamm for ruining Leslie's night, Ron warns Jamm to back off and leave. Jamm does not heed to Ron's warnings; Ron resorts to punching Jamm in the face. The two are taken to the police station, but Ron is allowed to leave after Ann posts his bail. Jamm is left in a cell for the night.
Giving up on getting married that night, Leslie accepts the fact she will get married like normal in three months like planned. Ann has different ideas and invites Leslie back to City Hall under the guise of having a few drinks. As Leslie and Ron roam City Hall's corridors, Ron opens up to Leslie about how much she means to him and lets her know what a truly amazing friend she is. This leads to him taking Leslie's arm and escorting her into the Parks Department office, for wedding attempt number two. Surrounded by just their closest friends and colleagues, Leslie and Ben get married in a simple yet perfect manner.
Leslie: Ron, I'm gonna need you to walk me down the aisle.
Ron: It would be an honor... and the first time I won't regret walking down the aisle.
Tom: Do you want more like a Steve Harvey vibe or straight-up Seacrest? Nah! Never mind, I'll combine 'em: Steve-crest.
Ron: [describing on how he made the wedding rings] It's not rocket science. I removed the sconce, fired up my grandfather's torch, heated up the pieces in a cast iron bucket, liquefied the metal, poured into a mold, obviously keep it over a low flame to achieve a nice temper, cooled it in antifreeze, and just forged and shaped the rings. Any moron with a crucible and a acetylene torch and a cast-iron waffle maker could have done the same. The whole thing took me only 20 minutes. People who buy things are suckers.
[Ann and Leslie are going over Leslie's wedding dress]
Ann: I gathered up all the meaningful bills, pictures, documents, and memos from your career. [the camera pulls back and Leslie's dress is made out of said stuff] What do you think? Is it okay?
Leslie: It is the most beautiful object I have ever seen. It is like the Ann Perkins of dresses.
Ann: Yaay! [happily claps her hands]
Leslie: It is amazing!
Andy: [gasps in amazement at seeing Leslie] Leslie? Wow, you look amazing! [realizes] Oh, my God!
Andy: I'm not supposed to see you before the wedding.
April: No, that's the Groom.
Andy: I ruined it!
April: Andy, that's the Groom.
Andy: I saw him, too!
[A drunk Jeremy Jamm is booing Leslie... at her wedding, of all places]
Ben: Dude, what are you doing?
Jeremy Jamm: I'm being awesome.
Jeremy Jamm: Sorry, guys! This wedding is cancelled 'cuz the Bride is a B-hole. [everyone gasps in shock]
Jeremy Jamm: Check this out. [pulls out a stink bomb] Stink bomb! Who knows what that does?? [throws it to the ground and it breaks, causing everyone to recoil in disgust]
Ann: Ugh! Stink bomb?? Are you joking??
Leslie: Oh, my God! Where'd you even get a stink bomb??
Jeremy Jamm: Amazon, baby, that's how.
[After Jamm heaves another stink bomb]
Tom: Aah, it's terrible! Jerry, you do the wedding! Who cares! [runs off in disgust]
Ron: [has had enough] Time to go, sir.
Jeremy Jamm: No! [Ron places a hand on his shoulder] Hey, get off! What the hell, man?? [punches Ron in his shoulder] Don't you touch me!
Ron: I'll give you that one. But if you do it again, I-
Jeremy Jamm: [interrupts] If I do what again? What? Kick your ass?? [punches Ron in his other shoulder] Is that what you want?? You want me to just pound- [raises his fist, but Ron quickly punches him hard in the face! Jamm goes down as Ron collects himself]
April: [glad that Ron shut Jamm up] Yay! Best wedding ever! [throws some rice]
Ron: [he and Leslie are in City Hall] I've never willingly been here later than 5:04 p.m. Before we go inside, I'd like to say something: You are a wonderful person. Your friendship means a lot to me. And you look very beautiful.
Leslie: Okay, weirdo.