| Okay Leslie, I am so, so sorry. Diaphena... she is this powerful goddess and I've been thinking about a lot of powerful women and subconsciously I... painted you. |
| — Jerry Gergich |
"Jerry's Painting" is the eleventh episode in the third season of the NBC television series Parks and Recreation. It originally aired on April 28, 2011 to 4.71 million viewers.
Synopsis[]
Jerry's painting creates excitement at the community art show, Ben moves in with April and Andy, and Leslie is frustrated by Chris's interoffice dating rules.
Storyline[]
When Leslie tells Ben about the art show exhibiting paintings that will later be hung in government buildings at the community center, Chris comes in and tells Ben he has set him up on a date with a tall attractive brunette. Ben seems reluctant to go out with this woman, and Leslie questions Chris about his rule against co-workers dating. Chris says it's not a problem here because she works in a different department. Leslie later laments to Ann about how she feels powerless, comparing herself to a broken lightbulb.
Meanwhile, now that he is staying in Pawnee permanently, Ben has decided to move out of the motel where he has been living. Andy and April offer him a spare room in their house since Burly moved out and left the house to them. When he arrives, Ben is appalled at the condition of their house. Although the two have been living by themselves for only a week, the house is a complete mess with no everyday items like plates or utensils available. Ben decides to take it upon himself to teach the young couple how to live like proper adults. Andy is excited to learn, but April is nowhere near as enthusiastic.
Later, the Parks Department employees attend the art show. Jerry displays his painting of a Greek centaur goddess named Diaphena slaying a stag. Everyone expresses awkward discomfort when they see the goddess (who was drawn nude) looks exactly like Leslie. Jerry then realizes he subconsciously gave her Leslie's face while thinking about powerful women. Instead of being embarrassed, however, Leslie feels empowered by the painting. Tom, however, is humiliated because the painting also includes a pot-bellied cherub in that shares his likeness. The next day, local conservative activist Marcia Langman compares the painting to bestiality, deems it unsuitable for a government setting, and demands it be destroyed. Chris warns Leslie that though he does not oppose this kind of art, it's inappropriate for a government office.
Leslie goes on the news program Ya Heard? With Perd! to rouse public support for the painting by portraying it as a depiction of a powerful woman. However, she is undermined when reporter Perd Hapley also has pornographic film actress Brandi Maxxxx as a guest, who defends the painting by comparing it to her work in porn. Chris convenes a Pawnee Public Arts Commission meeting to rule on whether the painting is acceptable. Despite Leslie's eloquent defense, the commission fears the nudity is offensive and decides to destroy it instead of risking public backlash. Marcia tries to arrange the burning of the painting, and she refuses when Leslie suggests she keep it for herself. Undeterred, Leslie steals the painting and runs away.
Meanwhile, after cleaning up around the house, Ben gives Andy and April money to buy common household items and sends them to Bed, Bath & Beyond. While there, April and Andy fill up their cart with stuff from the "As Seen on TV" section. As they're about to go through the checkout line with their cart full of things not on Ben's list, Andy realizes they should return it and get the household necessities. April, however, is resistant, as she's afraid of growing up because she does not want them to become boring, but Andy assures her they can do both.
Leslie takes the painting to April and Andy's house and sees Ben is there. She then gets a call from Chris, angrily demanding Leslie bring the painting to city hall the next day to be destroyed. April and Andy come home and give their opinions on the painting. After Leslie leaves, Andy and April reveal they got the household necessities and a toy gun that shoots out marshmallows, which Andy uses on Ben. The next morning, Leslie tells Jerry that she's turning the painting over to Marcia. Jerry is surprised and disappointed because he didn't think Leslie would give in. She then has an idea. When Marcia shows up, Leslie shows her the painting. The centaur's top half has been changed to Tom's. Marcia leaves, deciding the painting is no longer obscene. It turns out that Leslie had Jerry make another painting, and she can still keep the one with herself as a centaur.
Chris congratulates Leslie for solving the problem. He asks Ben about his date, but Ben says he didn't like her. Later, Ben crosses paths with Andy, who thanks Ben for helping him and April get dishes and silverware and reveals he knows Ben likes Leslie, which he approves of.
Cast[]
Quotes[]
Leslie: Ron, can you make the opening remarks? I-I just... I'm not in the mood.
Ron: Neither am I, ever. What's wrong with you? You live for this kind of stuff.
Leslie: I don't have it in me, right now. Ron, please? Do it for me. Make the speech. Ron, please? Please? Give the speech, Ron.
Ron: No.
Leslie: Yes. Please? Ron? Please? Please, give the speech.
Ron: No. No. I won't. No way. No.
Leslie: Yes, yes, yes. Please, please, please? Yes, yes.
Ron: Alright! Dammit, woman!
Ron: OK, everyone. SHUT UP, and look at me! [everyone quiets as they turn to listen to him] Welcome to Visions of Nature. This room has several paintings in it. Some are big, some are small. People did them and they are here now. I believe that after this is over they'll be hung in government buildings. Why the government is involved in an art show is beyond me. I also think it's pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can just go outside and stand in it! [some of the guests look confused and uncomfortable at Ron's speech] Anyway, please do not misinterpret the fact that I am talking right now as genuine interest in art and attempt to discuss it with me further. End of speech.
[Ron, Leslie, and Donna are looking at Orin's painting... or lack of one]
Ron: You forgot to paint a painting, son.
Ben: [picks up a pan] Are you guys... frying marbles? [shows the pan to the camera, revealing some marbles both melted and intact]
Andy: The biggest challenge to picking the perfect roommate is finding someone who's willing to pay more than their share of rent without knowing it.
Jerry: [describing his painting] For my painting, I chose one of my favorite Greek myths: "The Centaur Goddess, Diaphena, Slaying a Great Stag".
Ann: [feeling awkward] It's, uh, stunning.
Tom: [feeling excited] It's breathtaking, Jerry!
Donna: [also feeling awkward] Yeah, it really is.
Jerry: Wow, thanks guys!
Leslie: [sees Jerry's painting] Oh, my God.
[The painting has Leslie as a centaur - her exposed breasts are censored]
Leslie: That's me! Is that me??
Jerry: What? [chuckles] No. [leans in for a better look, then realizes] Oh, geez. It does look like you.
Tom: That's what you see when you close your eyes at night, Jerry: topless Leslie glued to a horse! [laughs]
Jerry: Leslie, I'm just so, so sorry. Diaphena, she is this powerful goddess and... I've been thinking about powerful women and, subconsciously, I... painted you. I'm sorry, I'm gonna take it right down.
Leslie: No. Leave it up. [she smiles, feeling empowered and touched] I love it.
Ann: [seeing the cherub in the painting] Oh, my God! The baby is Tom! [Leslie gasps]
Tom: [shocked] What??!
Ann: [chuckles] This is easily my favorite painting, ever!
Tom: [upset at being the cherub] What the hell, Jerry?! Look at my potbelly - I look like a pregnant baby! And why am I so scared?? Alright, we need to take this down! Now!
Leslie: [still mesmerized] No, this painting isn't going anywhere Tom. It's staying right here.
Tom: In one brush stroke, Jerry has killed the Jay-Z vibe that's taken me years to cultivate and replaced it with the fat, brown baby vibe... which is not as cool of a vibe.
Leslie: I'm like that light bulb. Weak, flickering, barely giving off any light, unable to make out with the light bulb I wanna make out with.
Andy: You can use as much free electricity as you want, it's free.
Ben: [on laundry] You always separate your lights from your darks.
April: That's racist.
Leslie: Public Art Commission. Filled with hippies who love public art and sometimes weed. Jackpot.
Leslie: That painting is not gonna be destroyed. Every great work of art contains a message. And the message of this painting is get out of my way unless you want an arrow in your ass, Marcia.
Andy: Yes, we're gonna get a dish rack, and shower curtains, and a cutting board, but if you think for one second that I'm not also gonna get that marshmallow shooter so I can shoot you in the face with marshmallows when you're asleep, then you're the dumbest woman I know.
[Tom is admiring Jerry's new painting of Tom replacing Leslie for the centaur]
Tom: I look awesome!
Andy: [confused about the centaur's anatomy] Is your penis between the front... arms, or the back legs?
April: [also confused] Yeah, where's your penis?
[Tom looks back at the painting, then at Jerry feeling very upset]
Tom: Dammit, Jerry!
Leslie: There were many kinds of Greek goddesses. Some were lovers, some were warriors... and some were tricksters!