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| A person should not have to have an advanced law degree to avoid being taken advantage of by a multi-billion dollar company. |
| — Ben Wyatt |
"Gryzzlbox" is the fifth episode in the seventh season of the NBC television series Parks and Recreation, and the 117th episode overall. It premiered on January 27, 2015 to 3.48 million viewers.
Synopsis[]
Ben and Leslie suspect the residents of Pawnee are having their privacy invaded by Gryzzl; April speaks to the new interns; Andy renegotiates a contract with Tom's help.
Storyline[]
Leslie is still in the process of finding a way to defeat Gryzzl, but it is becoming increasingly unlikely that she will find anything substantial enough to outweigh a $90 million bid. Just as she begins considering giving up, a package arrives at her front door via a Gryzzl drone. Leslie discovers that she is not the only one who has received such a package, as Donna was also sent a "Gryzzlbox". Donna explains that the gifts sent in her box were developed specifically for her tastes based on details that could only have come from private texts and phone conversations. Ben deduces that Gryzzl must be data mining as Leslie's box also has gifts specifically tailored to her personal tastes in it. Due to data mining being an extreme invasion of privacy and illegal, Leslie now has something she can use against Gryzzl.
A public forum is held to gauge the town's reaction to Gryzzlboxes, which turns out to be a resounding disapproval. So, with the town and Donna behind her, Leslie attempts to convince Ron to side with her, but he is having none of it as he believes it's the people who are the foolish ones for owning and using devices that can be tracked in the first place. Despite this setback, Donna agrees to organize a private tour of the current Gryzzl building in order for Leslie and Ben to snoop around.
Meanwhile, Tom is trying to distract himself with work in order to keep his mind off of Lucy, who has returned to Chicago to visit her boyfriend. Andy presents Tom with an opportunity to become his agent, as Andy is unsatisfied with a contract offered to him by the station manager where he does his show Johnny Karate as it will sign off his rights to the ownership of the character. Tom agrees to help Andy renegotiate his contract.
Elsewhere, Craig asks April to deliver a welcome speech to the new potential Parks Department interns, seeing as she got her start via the program. She reluctantly agrees but is hellbent on making sure none of the candidates are successful, believing they are essentially throwing their lives away if they become an intern at the department. April latches on to a girl named Jen, who she believes "has almost zero potential" and is much like she was when she first started i.e. unmotivated, no charisma, and no passion for the work ahead. She sways Jen from doing the internship and suggests she go do "something fun" instead.
Tom and Andy pair meet with the station manager Hank Muntak. Hank is a tough negotiator and offers only minute upgrades, to which Tom is not satisfied with. Hank agrees to offer up more, including raising Andy's weekly salary from $100 to $500, but Tom won't budge until Andy has full rights to Johnny Karate. Tom is successful in doing so, after begging, crying, and annoying Hank until he gives in.
At the Gryzzl campus, Leslie quizzes Roscoe, Gryzzl's vice-president, on the company's use of data mining, to which Roscoe openly admits to the practice, explaining how Gryzzl's software has algorithms which cater toward providing their customers with whatever they desire. Leslie offers Roscoe a chance to debate these questionable practices on TV as she figures it will be a great way to humiliate the company as she presents her evidence. However, just prior to the airing, Ron brings forth the 27th version of the Pawnee-Gryzzl free wireless agreement and highlights an amendment made in December 2015 which states they can gather and use any information they want. Ben is furious at himself for having missed the minute change due to being distracted by something else going on at the time. This clause absolves Gryzzl of any wrongdoing. While what they are doing is technically not illegal, Ben nevertheless calls Roscoe and Gryzzl out that their current practices are not ethical and implores Roscoe to be more upfront with the public in the future.
That night, Lucy returns from Chicago after breaking up with her boyfriend, thus leaving the door open for Tom and Lucy to get together in the future.
Craig is not pleased with April's actions towards the interns. He calls her out on treating her ten years of being with the Parks Department as a waste of time as she did amazing work with the department during her tenure while learning from a great mentor in Leslie, and if it wasn't for that internship, April would have gone on to do a truly miserable job. April, realizing how immature and ungrateful she was being, makes up for her actions the next day by bringing in a large number of new potential interns for Craig to consider.
The following night, while Leslie and Ben consider how else they can go about acquiring the land, Ron arrives on their doorstep with a Gryzzl drone that he personally shot down and destroyed after it sent a Gryzzlbox to his four-year old son Jon, who doesn't own any Gryzzl devices. He subsequently declares his allegiance to Leslie's cause and agrees to help her take them down.
Cast[]
Quotes[]
Donna: Knope, I need to talk to you.
Leslie: What's up?
Donna: I know I technically work for Gryzzl, but these fools have crossed a line. Have you gotten one of these Gryzzlboxes?
Leslie: Well, yeah, but I haven't opened it yet. [puts her Gryzzlbox on her lap] I'm planning on sending it back after I wrote a sternly-worded letter about how I cannot be bought with free gifts.
Donna: These are my free gifts. [reaches in her Gryzzlbox and pulls out] Two honey bears, and a canister of sugar plums. "Honey bear" and "Sugar plum" are the special names Joe and I call each other.
Ben, Leslie: [touched] Awww!
Donna: Yeah, we're adorable. But this is creepy. Because we only call each other these things on the phone or in text.
Ben: [suspicious] Leslie, open that box they sent you.
Leslie: [opens her Gryzzlbox] Ooh! Joe Biden's book: "Biden the Rails: 1001 Poems Inspired by My Travels Through Amtrak's Northeast Corridor".
Ben: A thousand?
Leslie: [gasps] A poster of the Supreme Court Justices sipping the "Friends" milkshake?? This stuff is perfect for me!
Ben: [suspicions confirmed] Yeah, exactly. They must be data mining. Searching our texts and emails and gathering profiles on all of us. This is a huge invasion of privacy. Not to mention illegal.
Donna: I never would have agreed to work with them if I had known they were gonna be snooping on my biz. Gryzzl is going down.
Craig Middlebrooks: April? The new Parks intern start today and I was wondering if you would deliver a little Welcome speech.
April: No. Go away.
Craig Middlebrooks: [to himself] Watermelon martinis, exposed brick, Keri Russell's hair.
April: Why did you say those weird things?
Craig Middlebrooks: On the advice of my therapist, Dr. Richard Nygard, whenever I feel like yelling I just take a deep breath and say three great things about being alive.
April: Gross.
April: I started working here when I was 20. And now I'm old and gross and directionless. [points to an office with some people waiting inside] Those kids are me ten years ago. And this internship is the videotape from "The Ring". It's too late for me and I've seen too much, but maybe I can save them. [turns toward the office] YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE IN HERE! [the people in the office look at her confused]
Woman: They sent my husband three boxes of genital cream to his office. My husband's blotchy genitals are no one's business, except for his, mine, and his many genital doctors.
Man: They sent me a bunch of toy pigs dressed like movie stars. That's my private hobby. No one knows I collect toy pigs dressed like movie stars. Except now all of you people.
Ben: [referring to the one the man is holding] Which one is that?
Man: This is actually Hamuel Jackson from the movie "Pork Fiction". It is extremely rare and I am keeping it, but still they have no right to give me something I will treasure the rest of my life.
Woman 2: I opened my box in front of all my friends and it was... a bunch of Virginia Woolf novels. Now Miley and Haley know I like to read! What if they tell Devin?
Leslie: The town is with us, Donna is on our side, and the next domino to fall? [pulls up a toy pig] Ron Swanson! Actually, this is Tom Selloink. But, you know, close enough.
Man: Actually, I'm gonna need that back.
Leslie: Oh! Yes, of course. [hands the toy pig to him]
Trivia[]
- Craig's list of Great Things About Being Alive
- watermelon martinis
- exposed brick
- Keri Russell's hair
- Martha Stewart's apron line
- my [Craig's] tomato plants
- sweet potato pie
- unlikely animal friend pairings
- Jennifer Love Hewitt
- Victor Garber
- James Garner
- Jennifer Garner