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The big issue now is, who is this mystery woman? She and Knope are standing very close to each other, and anytime you see two women standing very close to each other you immediately assume... lesbian.
Donnie Rotger

"Christmas Scandal" is the twelfth episode in the second season of the NBC television series Parks and Recreation. It originally aired on December 10, 2009 to 5.62 million viewers.

Synopsis[]

A meeting with a disgraced councilman lands Leslie in the middle of a sex scandal; when Ron offers to cover for Leslie for a day, he quickly discovers how much work she really does.

Storyline[]

The Parks Department performs in the annual Pawnee City Government Follies that riffs local politics, including one sketch that skewers Councilman Bill Dexhart, who was recently discovered to be involved in many bizarre sex scandals. Leslie is later asked to meet Dexhart for lunch, where she learns the sketch was accidentally accurate about another bizarre sex scandal that has not been made public. After assuring Dexhart that it was merely a coincidence, Leslie discovers that the local tabloid, The Pawnee Sun, has taken pictures of their lunch and is reporting that Leslie is Dexhart's new mistress.

The speculation about Dexhart and Leslie quickly spins out of control, upsetting her because it is distracting the townspeople from the Winter Wonderland that she set up on Lot 48. Ron decides to give Leslie time off to lay low and distributes her daily duties among the rest of the staff. Everyone is amazed how much Leslie does by herself each day and the entire group struggles to complete their tasks. Problems arise at Lot 48 when sanitation fails to empty a dumpster, leading to raccoons infesting the area. Tom and Mark confess it's their fault, as they were supposed to buy beer for the sanitation department but didn't.

Leslie has lunch with Dave, who reveals that his unit in the US Army Reserve has been called up to active duty in San Diego for a year to eighteen months, and he invites Leslie to join him. Leslie confides to Ann that she is considering the move just to get away from the media coverage.

After local show Pawnee Today digs up an old video of Leslie shaking hands with Dexhart and nitpick every aspect of the short clip, Ann and Leslie confront Dexhart and demand that he clear Leslie's name. He refuses to because the fake scandal is so docile compared to his real transgressions that it is actually positive press for him. Soon after, Ann is horrified to discover that a news crew secretly followed Dexhart to her home and took a photograph of the meeting, resulting in speculation that Ann is Leslie's lesbian lover. Determined to put an end to this, Leslie furiously calls the Pawnee Today crew and schedules an appearance on the show to set the record straight.

Meanwhile, the others are discussing what gifts to give. April asks Andy for ideas for what she can get her boyfriend for Christmas. Andy gives April some ideas, but she rejects them all. She says that "people say you should give gifts that you want to get yourself", and asks Andy what he would want. He responds with a Reggie Wayne Indianapolis Colts jersey. Mark tells Tom that he intends to get Ann a new computer bag for Christmas, but Tom tells him that he should get her diamonds.

On the show, host Joan Callamezzo surprises Leslie by bringing out Dexhart. Leslie challenges Dexhart that he doesn't have proof that they slept together, so he says she has a mole on her butt. Leslie drops her pants to prove she doesn't have a mole, and Joan declares that Leslie is telling the truth. Dexhart is forced to admit he made it up.

Over dinner, Leslie tells Dave that she will not move to San Diego with him, as her life is in Pawnee. Dave, although sad, understands her choice and the two split up amicably. The Winter Wonderland is a success and Leslie is congratulated by everyone, including Marlene, who is proud of how Leslie defeated Dexhart.

The next day, Andy finds a gift and a thank you note from April waiting for him at the shoeshine stand – it's a Colts jersey. Ann and Mark exchange gifts - Mark gives Ann the computer bag he intended to get her and Ann gives him two tickets to a Pacers game. Leslie also returns to work, much to Ron's immense relief, as he could barely handle just a portion of her daily duties. Everyone is visibly glad that Leslie is back.

Cast[]

Quotes[]

Leslie: Our tree lighting ceremony will be simulcast on Internet radio.
Tom: That's a really big deal.
Leslie: It is. Thank you.
Tom: Listening to that tree lighting's gonna be dope.

Crazy guy at public forum: I'm not worried about the swine flu. I already have the swine flu. I'm worried about the turtle flu!

Ron: [pondering] Turtle flu...

Leslie: I have nothing to apologize for... except for maybe being too incisive.
Councilman Dexhart: I don't want to you apologize. I want to know who told you.
Leslie: Who told me? Nobody. Nobody told me nothin'. What are we talking about?
Councilman Dexhart: Well, based on that skit, I know you've heard about the new scandal that's about to break. Who told you? Was it the babysitter, was it the nurse who delivered our love child?
Leslie: What?
Councilman Dexhart: Stop playing dumb. You know damn well what happened. I got the babysitter pregnant. Then, when she was in the delivery room, I had sex with not one but four nurses in the supply closet, as well as a woman whose husband was getting a liver transplant. Hmm. Now, which one of them told you? Was it the liver lady?
Leslie: Well--I--no one--I haven't--I haven't heard any of this. Ever. In my whole life.
Councilman Dexhart: Oh.
Leslie: Believe me, I would've remembered this.
Councilman Dexhart: Okay. Well, in that case, everything I just told you was just a funny prank. [laughing]

Tom: There isn't a woman alive who doesn't love diamonds. Even the super left wing chicks who saw Blood Diamond and cried. When they get a diamond, they like, "yeah, bitch, get more of them blood diamonds. Make 'em extra bloody."

Ron: We can't have raccoons for the Christmas thing. They'll hunt the kids for sport.

Perd Hapley: The mystery woman who met with Councilman Dexhart last night appears to be a government employee named Leslie Norp. According to unconfirmed reports in the Pawnee Sun, the two bent an elbow at this local watering hole, and although they left separately, no one knows whether they woke up... together.

April: Do you want me to seduce Perd Hapley?
Leslie: How would that help?
April: I don't know. I just want to see if I could do it.
Leslie: April, I appreciate that, but I don't think it's something worth losing your virginity over.

Leslie: In a 24-hour news cycle, the tiniest story gets dissected over and over again. In 2004, a kid from Pawnee went to the Olympics, and it was reported on for over a year. He wasn't even competing or anything. He was just going literally to watch the Olympics.

Dexhart: I can prove it. She has a mole on her right buttock. Leslie Knope: What? That is a total lie. You've never seen my butt. What are you talking about? He has never seen my butt. [chuckles]

Marelene: That took guts, mooning Joan Callamezzo!

Leslie: It's gotten a lot harder to work in government. You think Winston Churchill ever had to pull his pants down and show his butt? No. But would he have? Yes. Now could he have? Well maybe not towards the end of his life. But, he would have. Because he loved his job.

Trivia[]

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