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Not now Ben, I would like to introduce Derek's ass to my foot.
Leslie Knope

"Bowling for Votes" is the thirteenth episode in the fourth season of the NBC television series Parks and Recreation. It originally premiered on January 26, 2012 to 3.49 million viewers.

Synopsis[]

After receiving feedback from a focus group, Leslie and Ben plan a casual bowling party; April, Jerry and Chris compete to see who can raise the most money for Leslie's campaign.

Storyline[]

Leslie Knope and her campaign team hold a focus group to gauge the public's view on her. One participant named Derek says he won't vote for Leslie because he feels she isn't the type of person he'd be able to go bowling with. An offended Leslie becomes determined to win Derek's vote by having her campaign hold a bowling night at Ricky's Rock N' Roll Bowling Alley, although Ben Wyatt tries to explain that there will be voters who simply won't like her. Meanwhile, Jerry Gergich organizes an all-night campaign fundraising event at Andy Dwyer and April Ludgate's house, with two movie tickets going to the person who raises the most money. Chris Traeger wants to win so he can take his girlfriend (Jerry's daughter) Milly out, while April wants to win in order dampen the overly optimistic Chris.

At the bowling night, Tom Haverford embarrasses Ron Swanson and Ann Perkins with his child-like bowling technique, but it proves very effective and he scores higher than Ron. Leslie challenges Derek to a game of bowling and lets him win while giving him free food and beer. He still refuses to vote for Leslie, angering her and challenging him to a rematch that she wins. An angry Derek calls Leslie a "bitch", resulting in Ben throwing a punch and knocking Derek to the ground. A smitten Leslie kisses Ben over a bloody Derek, of which a newspaper photographer takes a picture.

Chris, who is well in the fundraising lead, announces that he is going to ask Milly to move in with him, but Jerry privately reveals to everyone else that Milly is planning to end the relationship; she later shows up and does so, leaving Chris very sad. April wins the tickets, but feels guilty that her wish to see Chris sad came true. The next day, she buys a third ticket and offers a depressed Chris to join her and Andy at the movies, giving him a quick hug. Leslie refuses to accept Ben's resignation over the punch and holds a press conference to apologize to Derek, but she backtracks and tells the reporters that she won't apologize because Derek was a jerk and Ben was right to defend her honor; to prove her point, Derek calls Leslie a "bitch" into the microphone. At a focus group about the press conference, the participants give Leslie very favorable opinions.

Ron later returns to the bowling alley in disguise and tries out Tom's technique, bowling a perfect game. Despite this, he doesn't want to record it as such and pretend he was never there.

Cast[]

Quotes[]

Leslie: [on what the focus group is saying about her] All the things make me think a lot of feelings about myself.

Leslie: I've never been very good at letting things go. I can't tell you how many times a fun tug of a war with a dog over a chew toy turned contentious. One of us always gets mad.

Jerry: Is everybody feeling good?
April: Oh I don't know Jerry, it's Sunday night, I'm making phone calls to strangers, and you're in my house. My life couldn't be worse.

Leslie: Hey, Ron. Thanks for coming, man.
Ron: Of course. This bowling alley has my favorite restaurant in Pawnee. [cut to the menu that says "Hot Dogs ... $1.00; Hamburgers ... $1.35"]

Ron: When I eat, it is the food that is scared.

April: I don't care about that prize, but I'm gonna win because I want his happiness to go away.

Ron: [on bowling] Straight down the middle, no hook, no spin, no fuss. Anything more and this becomes figure skating.

Tom: Come on, big girl. Let's knock these pins down. [goes to bowl and gets in a very weird squatting position]
Ann: [shocked] Oh, my God. Are you serious?
Ron: [also shocked] Son, people can see you!
Tom: [lets the ball go and gets a strike] BOOM! That right there - Tommy Strike! [Ann claps and is amazed; Ron can't believe it]

Ben: Some people just aren't going to like you. Let it go.

Leslie: [about Derek] I'll just say "Hi" to him, shake his hand... buy him a few beers, share a few laughs, bowl a few frames, lose intentionally to make him feel good, friend him on Facebook, and by the end of the night... he will be mine.

Ron: [as Tom bowls in the same weird position] Tom, I'm asking you as a man to stop this immediately! [Tom lets the ball go and gets another strike] What the f**k?

Tom: [after Ron misses a few pins] Ron, were you trying to get a 7? Because if you did, you did a great job.
Ron: I'm very angry right now.

Tom: [gets his finger smashed by a bowling ball that Ron moved] OWWWWW!
Ann: What??
Tom: [like a child] My finger was in there! Ron crushed my finger! I think it might be broken!
Ann: Are you a female bird?

Ron: It was an accident.
Tom: [even more childish] Oh, my God, it's already swollen!
Ron: [appalled] Tom, my God! Do you have any pride at all??
Tom: You did this on purpose! You're jealous of my gift!

Leslie: [after intentionally losing to Derek, who still won't vote for her] You're still not gonna vote for me? Why?
Derek: I don't like you. Okay?

Ben: [trying to distract Leslie] Hey, Leslie. I like to introduce you to my good friend Anyone Else.
Leslie: Not now, Ben. I'd like to introduce Derek's ass to my foot.

Leslie: [after fairly beating Derek] I'm looking forward to your vote in the Spring.
Derek: Yeah. I'll just write in "bitch"!
Ben: [offended] I'm sorry? What did you just say??
Leslie: Just ignore him. He's being a jerk.
Derek: I said, she's a bitch! [gets punched by Ben] What the hell?!
Leslie: [shocked] Oh, my God!

Tom: [seeing Ben put a bag of ice to his hand] Wow! You and me, huh? Hurt fingeys. [holds up his hand in a cup of ice]
Ann: No, no. Two totally different injuries.

April: To the better place world, Fred.

April: I wished for his happiness to go away. I might be a wizard.

Leslie: Derek hates me. And I don't particularly like him. So, what's the point? Right, Derek?
Derek: [into the microphones] I feel like you're being kind of like a bitch, right now.
Leslie: See?

[Ron, incognito, bowls in the same embarrassing style like Tom... and gets a strike]
Ron: Son of a bitch.

Bowling attendant: Hey, perfect game! What's your name? Put it up on a wall.
Ron: I was never here, and you will never speak of this again.

Trivia[]

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