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The Pawnee Charter shall not change; not today, not ever!
Garth Blunden

"Article Two" is the nineteenth episode of Season 5 of the NBC television series Parks and Recreation. It originally aired on April 18, 2013 to 3.35 million viewers.


Once a year, Pawnee celebrates "Ted Party Day", commemorating the great Pawnee tea dump of 1817. Due to the Pawnee Charter's old timey script, the word "tea" looks like "ted", so as a running gag, the city dumps a man named Ted into Ramsett Lake each year. This year, the Ted thrown into the lake is not pleased with the outdated, clearly misinterpreted laws that Pawnee has and demands Leslie Knope do something about it at the next city council meeting. Leslie proposes the city purge many of its old, obscure laws, but one citizen named Garth Blunden is overtly against changing any laws due to their historical significance. Threatening to filibust the meeting so as no vote can be handed down, Leslie implores Garth to re-consider. After Garth bluntly states Leslie has no respect for Pawnee's traditions, the two wager that who ever can survive the longest living primitively at the Pawnee Historical House, has to back down from their agenda. It quickly becomes apparent that Leslie is in over her head, as Garth is more prepared and willing to actually live like that of a Pawneean from 1817. Upon searching his phone, Leslie finds that Garth does not have much of a social life and does not seem to have many friends. She subsequently backs down and gives Garth the win, but counter proposes he join the Pawnee Historical Commission in exchange for him relinquishing his disapproval of changing some laws. He agrees and Leslie makes sure to keep in the Ted Party Day, but allow only volunteers to be dumped in the lake.

Meanwhile, Chris Traeger requires April Ludgate, newly assigned Deputy Director of Animal Control, to complete the Chris Traeger Management Training Seminar (CTMTS). April enlists Ron Swanson to get her out of doing the seminar, but it is ultimately his undoing as he accidentally enrolls himself in the program after he admits he has never undertaken any management training course in his 12 years as Director of the Parks Department. It is not a pleasant experience for either April or Ron. Ron does not agree with Chris in his methods of motivation, so Chris challenges Ron to see whose method works best. Chris' method is that of encouragement, appreciation and smiles, while Ron's version involves money, fear and hunger. Both apply their methods on Jerry Gergich, tasking him with filing folders to see how many he can do after being instructed with each method. While Ron's method does see more folders filed, it comes at a cost, with most of them out of place. The conclusion is a stalemate. When Ron and Chris open up April's pre-seminar statement, they find out April predicted she'd "pit Ron and Chris against each other, then she'd steal $20 from Chris for pizza and Ron's watch just for fun." While she spends time with Andy and she succeeded on all counts. Ron and Chris agree she'll make a fine manager.

In a B plot, Ann Perkins and Ben Wyatt fight over a waffle maker from JJ's Diner that they each want to give to Leslie. Ann's occasion is "Breakfast Day", while Ben's is "Waffle Day". Each are days created by Leslie to commemorate special moments in her life with those respective people; they are also just one of many commemorative days Leslie has created with both Ann and Ben. After winning the waffle maker, Ben feels sorry for Ann and suggests the give the gift together and present Leslie with an ultimatum: no more specific commemorative days; instead, combine all the days into a "Ben Day" and an "Ann Day". Leslie counter proposes that the day be a month, but Ben and Ann up their day to a week, which both parties agree to.


April: [referring to Chris' seminar] Can you get me out of it?
Ron: Yes.

Ron: Normally, if given a choice between doing something and nothing, I'd choose to do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I'd work all night if it meant nothing got done.

Ron: First of all, you don't steer a locomotive - the tracks do. Second, there are only three ways to motivate people: Money, Fear, and Hunger.

Ron: [approaching Jerry with blue folders] Jerry? Stop filing those red folders at once, and begin filing these blue ones.
Jerry: Oh, sorry Ron. I promised Chris that I would-
Ron: [interrupting] This is the top priority. I need these blue folders done now. You can eat... [smacks a chocolate bar Jerry was eating out of his hand] ...when you have finished. FILE!!
Jerry: Oh, my goodness! [gets to work]