This article contains spoilers for the Parks and Recreation show. Continue at your own risk.
Storyline[edit | edit source]
A couple of months has passed since Pawnee and Eagleton officially merged, but the citizens of both towns are still against the merger and still very much dislike each other. Leslie Knope goes on Wamapoke County Public Radio to try and convince the people that the merger has been a success. However, after a number of callers slammed the merger over the radio, Leslie deduces that the merger needs a win – something symbolic and happy that will show there is light at the end of the tunnel. She notices a couple's picture in the paper celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, with one being from Pawnee and the other from Eagleton. She strikes up a plan to use this couple as a means of demonstrating that Pawnee and Eagleton can come together and unite. However, it quickly becomes clear that they are not a loving couple, as they both despise each other. After a failed attempt to symbolize unity by bringing them on Pawnee Today, Leslie turns her attention away from the past to focus on the future. She establishes the Pawnee-Eagleton Youth Committee – their goal: to hold the city together with a youthful vibe. The committee quickly comes up with an inclusive activity to cement the merger. They call it the Unity Concert, a large music and arts festival that will incorporate musicians and artists from both towns over a three-day event. Leslie is overjoyed by the idea.
Meanwhile, Ben Wyatt plans a big day of celebration with Leslie to commemorate their one-year anniversary, but to surprise her, he decides to do it the day before the anniversary date. With Leslie preoccupied with saving the face of the merger, his plan backfires, resulting in Ben inviting Jerry Gergich to do all the couple's activities with him instead. Over the course of the day, the pair get a couple's massage, ride together in a horse-drawn carriage, attend a cooking class at a culinary school, and attend a dance class. Ben and Jerry form a bond and surprisingly enjoy themselves. The following day, Ben presents a scrapbook to Leslie with photos of he and Jerry spending the day together doing all the amazing things he planned for her. Believing he has finally beaten her in a gift exchange, he is quickly brought back to earth by Leslie's anniversary gift – a replica of the Iron Throne from his favorite TV show, Game of Thrones.
Elsewhere, Ron Swanson adopts a dog for Diane's children from the Pawnee Animal Shelter, where April Ludgate and Donna Meagle work on a part-time basis. April is passionate about animals and her role as Director of Animal Control, and is therefore not impressed with Donna's lack of effort when working for her. Donna constantly skives off work, but April is too hesitant to discipline her. She takes to Yelp where she writes an unfavorable review about Donna anonymously. Donna does not take too kindly to this review and sets out to find who the culprit is. April later confesses to Donna that it was her, after Ron explains that if you believe in something, you sign your name to it. April and Donna make up and apologize to each other, as Donna promises to no longer skip work.
Quotes[edit | edit source]
Ron: Speaking of bad reviews...
Ron: [to the camera] Computers are mostly pointless, but that Yelp thing gave me a great idea on how to criticize people in places. [in his office on his typewriter] I am composing strongly worded letters about things I disapprove of and I am using the Internet to get addresses where I can send them. So far, I have written to a vegetable farm, several European ambassadors, a manufacturer of male cologne, and a nonfat frozen yogurt bar. [reads the letter to the latter] "Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars."
Ron: How much postage does it take to send a letter to Canada?
April: Who's it going to?
Ron: Canada. It says, "Dear Canada, f**k you."
Donna: What? Some fool just slammed me on Yelp!
April: [to the camera] I took Ron's advice - I very, maturely and strait-forwardly, left anonymous comments about Donna online.
Donna: [reading April's anonymous comment] "Stopped by to adopt a dog, but the employee, Donna Meagle, was nowhere to be found. Thanks for nothing, Donna Meagle. Booooo." With 5 o's.
April: Oh, my God, that sucks. Just have to work harder, I guess, huh?
Donna: This freak thinks he can hide behind some anonymous user name, I'm about to hunt. you. down! [April looks scared]
Ron: [sees a man waiting] Can I help you?
Man: Yeah, I own Lettuce Eat. The vegan restaurant on Lowell Drive. And I wanted to know why you nailed this letter to my door? [Ron looks at the letter he made]
Ron: [reading the letter out earlier] "Veganism is the sad result of a morally corrupt mind. Reconsider your life." [to the man] Because I believe it. Good day.
Man: [muttering] Carnivores, you're all the same. [he leaves]
Ron: [describing the frail physique of the common vegan] What's gonna happen? A vegan is gonna physically attack me? They are basically made of glass.
Donna: Just give me the IP address of the dude that gave me that cracked-out Yelp review.
IT Guy: Okay, here we go. The IP address says it came from someone inside City Hall.
Donna: In this building?? Oh, hell no!
April: Well, who cares, really? It's just some dumb Internet person. Ignore it.
Donna: Ignore it?? I'm about to come down on this dude like Thor's hammer, Mjölnir. [stands up with much intensity] I'm about to go MJÖLNIR on his ass!!